The Albatross

Often, to amuse themselves, the men of a crew
Catch albatrosses, those vast sea birds
That indolently follow a ship
As it glides over the deep, briny sea.

Scarcely have they placed them on the deck
Than these kings of the sky, clumsy, ashamed,
Pathetically let their great white wings
Drag beside them like oars.

That winged voyager, how weak and gauche he is,
So beautiful before, now comic and ugly!
One man worries his beak with a stubby clay pipe;
Another limps, mimics the cripple who once flew!

The poet resembles this prince of cloud and sky
Who frequents the tempest and laughs at the bowman;
When exiled on the earth, the butt of hoots and jeers,
His giant wings prevent him from walking.

— Charles Baudelaire

Two of a kind

I do not write very often. I have been advised of Bernard Shaw’s “Write-5-pages-a-day-no-matter-what” rule, have tried it and not succeeded. Regular readers of my (other) blog would notice that the promise of one-post per day was not kept either. I need inspiration to write. I need an idea to bubble up from the abyss of consciousness, stir my soul and strum my neural network till I am driven by inspiration and energy to put it down on paper – or – type it out on the screen.

I am inspired, today. Why?

Imagine growing up knowing there is something fundamentally weird about the way you think. Imagine being able to see the unfairness of the world and the hypocrisy of it. Imagine never buying into the world, really. Imagine learning to shut up and be normal. Imagine learning not to let your teachers know you are smarter than them. Imagine learning that your astute observations about life, education, religion, learning, patriotism, morality might be really really politically incorrect. Imagine learning to shift, change, adjust, accommodate. Imagine lowering your standards for the kind of person you are, can be and want to be with. Imagine being abnormal, idealistic, impracticable, unconventional, eccentric, over-analytical, dreamer, stupid….. and hiding that. Imagine being not-understood and imagine not imagining any other way things could exist.

Now, Imagine discovering that there are two of you.

Richard Bach says – Your true family is seldom the one you are born in

Where do you want to go today?

And the winner is.... Choice!!

Just before I started penning these words, I stared at the white blank space in front of me. The possibilities are staggering. With my thoughts, my mind and fingers, I have the choice to make any use of it that I like. I can write a poem about the beauty of rains, a story about a little girl and her dog, a hate letter against a country or community, a new manifesto for a better world, conversations with myself, haikus, an article about how to use nail-clippers better, a list of my deepest held goals and desires, a list of things i need to buy in the next one week, names of people who have hurt me, a love letter, a gratitude note to those who have touched me, a work mail, a love song, a swot for my company, a recipe for making littis, a manual on how to get an autorickshaw in bangalore, a litany of accusations against someone I despise, a list of reasons I shouldn't write anything or nothing at all.

Anything.

The white space invites me to express any part of myself that I choose to bring forth today... right now. The possibilities, the potential, the freedom, the limitlessness, the infiniteness of it is very difficult to miss.

Life is a lot like this, isn't it?

At any given moment, the next moment and the moment after that stretch before us like a blank sheet of paper. We have absolute freedom, total control, complete power over what we choose to bring forth in those moments. We can choose to write a beautiful story of our life, our destiny. We can choose to write lovingly or write with angst, we can choose to write with our soul or write with our mind. We can choose to admire or envy, we can choose to learn or weep, we can choose to grow or shrink, we can choose to bring forth that which is the best in us – our best version of ourselves or we can carry on – a humdrum existence or even a part of ourselves that is angry – full of hate and venom. We can also tear up the blank sheet of paper. But, we are free. We can be, do, think – anything we want. The only limitations we might apply are those that we have created ourselves.

It's all about money, honey! Or, is it?

Of course, Money is important.

That is how most perspectives that explore the importance of money in our personal and spiritual growth start off. The tone is apologetic, often a bit guilty. The writers seem to be battling an inner incongruence between their soul's desire for growth and expression and the harsh reality of insurance premiums and EMIs. It is a painful recognition of the role money plays in our day to day existence versus the heart which knows it matters not at all.

The reality says "I am judged, assessed, measured, accepted, respected, often even loved on the basis of the amounts of money I have." The heart says "Money doesn't matter – it is the self that does. There are plenty of unhappy rich people around."

It is important to explore the role money plays in our lives and make peace with it for once and for all. I hope this article will help you do that.

Of course, money is important.

It is very important to notice where, how and why money is important. I believe money is an enabler in the external world. The key word here is "enabler". Money is an enabler. It enables us to do things we would otherwise not be able to do. Like "walking" for instance. Walking enables us to get from one place to another. Or "swimming". Swimming enables us to stay afloat while in water. Money similarly enables us to do things we would not be able to do without it. It enables us to travel to meet our near and dear ones. It enables us to avail of medical facilities to cure our body when we are sick. It enables us to buy nutrition and education. It is a resource.

It is important to distinguish money as an external enabler. It allows us to do things in the external world. Our internal world is different. It is made up of our beliefs, values, attitudes, thoughts etc. Our internal world has absolutely nothing to do with money and this awareness is crucial. Our internal world is the essence of who we are. It is the ever changing, dynamic landscape of our "self" which is shifting, evolving and growing every moment of our lives.

It is when we mix up the role of money and start using it to cater to our internal world that it pollutes and corrupts us. It is when we try and substitute the amount of money we have for being generous or kind or courageous or loving or honest that we have literally "mixed up" priorities.

Self awareness, I-witnessing, Self observation, self discipline, self exploration are the currency of the internal world. Not money. You cannot buy these no matter how much money you have.

The role of ego is using this external enabler to fulfill our soul's needs is undeniable. Ego – a healthy tool that facilitates the illusion of separation of "me" from everything else can prove to be the single biggest obstacle in our personal quest for growth. The ego, which sees money as an extension of itself – easily confuses money as a substitute for developing personal traits and qualities.

So, let us earn money, spend money, give away money, have fun with money. Let us celebrate money and be grateful for it. Just as we should hop and jump for the gift of walking and be grateful for it.

Let us be kind, generous, courageous, loving, grateful, good, soulful, happy inside - whether we have the kind of money we want or not.

What rules is not bits of paper with pictures of noble deceased on them.
What rules is how you choose to express yourself - everyday.

Am I being the best version of what I can be?
That, my friends - is the question!

I like money, but I would choose self-expression (or self manifestation) over money any day.

Like a film director said in an interview "I make money to make movies, I don't make movies to make money"

That, I believe is self expression.

Back to the Blog

It's been a while.
I am back.
It feels good.
A lot has happened.
But this blog is not about me. (ok, maybe a little)
It's about learning, growth, change, freedom, adventure, fun.

I am back.
It feels good.

Three Days off work

Three Days off work.
And I am off on a mini vacation!
See you Monday.
Take care and have a fantastic weekend!


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Organizations - Wonderland?

Something to think about…

Organizations are artificial structures which provide you a fantastic opportunity to associate with people you would never, ever associate with under normal situations. Organizations provide us with an unparalleled opportunity to grow, to become more, to express the best part of ourselves in a setting which claims to be about tasks, goals, targets, missions and all that… but is really about who you choose to be with respect to all of these and the people around you.

Probably if not for organizations, our experience would be severely limited in terms of the number and the kind of people we would associate ourselves with.

If you think about it, every single day – surrounded by a milieu of people whom you don’t know, probably are not like and probably do not like – it’s literally a rabbit hole down there waiting to be explored by you.

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New Web Site Coming Up

A big overhaul of www.abhishekkumar.com – my web site is underway. Some very key elements to make the web site successful are yet to be figured out. I have been spending the past two days learning about Keywords, Meta Tags, and Frames etc. I went to college with computer science as a major, so I cannot claim complete ignorance of the technologies that work behind the scenes to make a web site come alive on our computer screens. I do believe, though, that the process of creating a search-engine friendly, well organized, logical web site can have a steep learning curve. Well, I am climbing.

I am also planning a series of articles on the most common personal development issues we face.

So, coming…
All this and more.
Stay tuned. (